Natural Connections   

As case-managers, we provide many essential services to the families that rely on and seek assistance from Ozanam Place.  We are great at advocating and supporting people in need of our services, in addition to linking people up with various resources in the community.  All of this lends itself to reaching the ultimate individual goal of self-sufficiency.  Unfortunately, our ability to work with families is time limited.  For many people, a week or so between visits can seem endless.  A big barrier in becoming self-sufficient that is often over-looked is loneliness.   Whether you’re a stay at home mom, working full or part-time, making new friends is hard.  Single parents are busy dealing with home-management, jobs and especially the kids.  It can be such a comfort to have other adult connections, but it is often difficult to find the time and resources to do so.  It is especially hard for someone who is naturally introverted or feeling isolated.

Ozanam Staff has been making a number of efforts to address the issue of loneliness by organizing cook-outs, gardening groups, walking groups and workshops.  These events have fostered some nice relationships, but we thought even more could be done.  As we looked at the various people within our programs, we realized that everyone has a special gift or talent and most often they are more than willing to share that talent and skill with others.  We have begun talking with families and mutually agreeing to naturally connect people to one another. 

I would like to share a story about one such venture into mentoring or “buddying up”.    Lynn was fairly shy and often discussed how difficult it was for her to meet new people.  As is often the case, she had become very isolated.  Single parents do not have help.  Every action involving the care, love and safety of their children is the sole responsibility of one parent.  Who has time to develop friendships?  Lynn felt cut off from everything.  The longer she felt that way the more time she spent in her apt with the shades drawn.  Sometimes she wouldn’t answer the phone or the door because it just felt too overwhelming.  Heather, another Ozanam Mom moved into the apartment building right next to Lynn’s.  Heather has two great children and is looking for a new job but talked about feeling lonely.  She longed for another adult to talk to and do activities with.  We simply introduced the women to each other and talked about how they could perhaps help each other out.  It has been an absolute joy to see how this, and now other relationships in the two buildings have blossomed.   Heather and Lynn have been doing laundry together, organizing their homes, along with doing activities together with the kids.  The effects are contagious.  People are planning parties, making arrangements to care for each other’s children, talking in the hallways, having coffee, really connecting in a way that could not be duplicated in a case-management /client relationship.  I recently spoke with Lynn who was the happiest I have ever seen her. Lynn joyfully exclaimed, “I have two really good friends now, and I can’t wait to get up and get going every morning”!  We have simply facilitated a very natural process and the connections have been amazing.  Heather has become a professional at helping other clients organize and decorate their apartments. She does it with style, grace, and with a non-judgmental attitude.  We are all much more open to listening to our best friend’s feedback and advice.

That is what makes this simple concept so vitally important to the families we work for.

Practicing Progress, not Perfection
By Ozanam Place Case Manager

Many people ask me, “Why are some people more motivated than others”? I don't know the definite answer. Could it be biological, circumstantial, or environmental? It’s probably all three and more. Every person is different. I do know that when I see someone who is motivated to help him or her-self, I go the extra mile to help those families. Sometimes I'm wrong and the hard work was to no avail, but sometimes the extra work pays off in the reward of seeing a family come to their own self-actualization and become independent

Single-parent families are quite common place today, but that does not make it easier for them. This story is about a mother with one child. I first met this family when the mother came in last summer needing housing. The father of her child had just recently moved out and told her she had till the end of the month to leave the apartment. She had no transportation, no job, no daycare, no income, and was unfamiliar with this area. A neighbor was kind enough to give this mother a few rides. One place was the welfare department of the town she was living in who referred her to Ozanam Place.

She came in one Thursday during Ozanam’s Drop-In hours. After speaking with her that day, and then again the next week, she seemed very motivated and wanted to participate in Ozanam’s Transitional Supportive Services program (TSS). I referred her to the Department of Health and Human Services for cash assistance, food stamps, health insurance and child care assistance. Once she had some income, the next task was to find her affordable housing. Thankfully, one of the area landlords had an affordable one bedroom in Laconia available within this mother’s budget. I arranged for some furniture to be donated and for some financial assistance for her security deposit.

Finding housing was always the primary goal. It’s very hard for someone to work on budgeting or finding a job when they don’t have a stable place for their family to call “home”. Once housing was found, other goals were identified such as: finding a safe daycare for her child, getting her G.E.D., finding a job, buying an affordable car, maintaining her housing, and learning how to budget. These goals were identified within the first few months of this mother’s signing onto Ozanam’s TSS program. As each goal was attained, new goals were identified both large and small, short term and long term.

This mother was able to find daycare within walking distance of her apartment. She attended the Laconia High School G.E.D. program and graduated six months later. At about that same time, she found a part-time job and, with a little outside financial assistance, bought an affordable car.

She continues to maintain her housing. I continue to work on budgeting with her and her new identified goals are to find a full-time job, to file for child support and full custody through the courts, and to take parenting classes.

This young mother receives advocacy, referrals, guidance and encouragement from Ozanam Place. She came to us overwhelmed by life and did not know where to turn. Today, she has a better understanding of where she is headed and what she wants to accomplish. She is still motivated towards becoming independent, even when she encounters obstacles. She is practicing progress, not perfection.

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